“The almost insoluble task is to let neither the power of others, nor our own powerlessness, stupefy us.” — Theodor W. Adorno
We will all, at some point in our lives, find ourselves feeling powerless. The feeling can seep into our consciousness and rob us of any potential forward momentum. And unfortunately, this inevitably seems to happen right when it is most crucial to take action: when we recognize injustice occurring, when tragedy strikes, when we can sense the world plowing ahead without having asked us for input.
The challenge, as the German philosopher and social theorist Theodor Adorno described it, is to avoid succumbing to the inertia that can accompany powerlessness (which he saw as a fundamental aspect of modern life). When you feel yourself grappling with futility, taking some action, however small, can help you reclaim a sense of competency. Recognizing that this task can feel impossible at the time is important, too, so you can intrinsically reward yourself afterward.
Advice from experts on what to do when you feel powerless
Challenge Your Thoughts
Often, feeling powerless is the result of traitorous thoughts that just seem to manifest themselves before we can filter them out. Believing that “that’s just how it is,” or that you can’t change your circumstances is common — but often false. As New York City-based psychologist Dr. Lauren Appio told therapy resources website PsychCentral, just because you feel powerless and helpless doesn’t mean you actually are. “[It becomes] hard for us to take a step back and review our options,” she says, “because, in this state of mind, we don’t feel we have any.”
California-based psychotherapist Stefany D. Fuentes regularly asks clients to examine their thoughts of powerlessness to see if they may be cognitive distortions or an exaggerated pattern of thoughts that aren’t based on facts. Answering questions like, ‘Have I made this situation too important?” or “Is there another explanation?” can help, she says.
On a similar note, be careful about your consumption of social media. Fact-checking has largely gone the way of the dodo on many popular sites, and bias (intentional or not) is prevalent just about everywhere these days. If you consume too much information from one source, you might fall prey to misinformation that could fuel whatever cognitive distortions you already have. (You may already be aware of confirmation bias and its potential to reinforce problematic thinking.)
Identify Your Strengths and Skills
In the same PsychCentral article, Appio suggests analyzing times you have felt empowered and were able to take action. Noting how you felt, what worked well, what support you had and what actions you took might shed some light on how you could replicate your successes.
Similarly, an article on helplessness in VeryWellMind (the mental health branch of the respected health magazine) advises people to make a list of the things they are good at, and then think about how they can use those skills to tackle a problem.
Focus On What You Can Control
When you spend too much time ruminating over the things you cannot change, you end up magnifying feeling powerless and defeated. Focusing on what you can control (and maybe have controlled in the past), however, can make you feel more capable. This, in turn, can provide a greater sense of agency and the motivation you need to work toward making changes.
VeryWellMind offers this helpful list of things that are usually within our ability to control:
- Our thoughts
- The way we talk to ourselves
- Our priorities
- How we spend our time
- How we treat other people
- The time we spend with other people
- The coping mechanisms we use to manage stress
- How much we pay attention to the world around us
- How much time we spend on social media
As part of focusing on what we can control, we also need to strive toward acceptance of what we cannot control. In the VeryWellMind article, psychotherapist Yolanda Renteria explains: “The role of the brain is to find solutions. If we let it, the brain can scan solutions for days, months, or even years, which only fuels anxiety, overwhelm, and shut down.” She continues, “When we develop the habit of accepting there’s nothing we can do, we help train the brain to stop ruminating idealized scenarios.”
In other words, feeling as if you have to control everything can actually make you feel more helpless. Research even suggests that when people mistakenly believe they can control the future, they actually end up feeling even more distressed. The solution is to focus on the present and what you have the power to control within the current reality.
Take Action
Once you’ve challenged negative thoughts, identified your personal strengths, and considered things that you have the power to control, it’s time to switch from potential energy to something more kinetic. Just getting started by taking even the tiniest little baby step toward a goal can help you regain a sense of agency. And hopefully, each small success will lead to larger ones: Instead of moping around in your pit of despair, you’ve begun to enact real change.
The trick is to figure out what actionable steps you can realistically take to change your situation, and then break them down into the smallest tasks possible. For example, you can’t solve climate change single-handedly, but you can get in touch with your political representatives to learn more about what steps they are taking to support climate change initiatives (and how you, in turn, can help support those initiatives). Even before you do that, you could focus more on what items you can easily recycle at home, work on creating less food waste, or take some personal action that would have an impact (no matter how small) on the issue you’re concerned about. Keep track of your actions. After a while, take the time to reflect on what you’ve been able to accomplish. Then, don’t dwell on how small these successes are when viewed in the big picture: Celebrate your achievements instead.
Even the tiniest actions can lead to other people noticing and joining you in your endeavors; you never know what might be the beginning of something bigger.
Seek Support
When everything feels too big and too scary, talking to other people can be helpful. This might look like friends or family who understand what you’re going through, online groups, or support groups within the community. Building a network of people who can support you and your journey will be immensely helpful when you reach a step that feels insurmountable. Additionally, by connecting with people who also feel powerless, you might find yourself in a position to help someone else — which can only improve your own sense of agency.
Of course, feeling powerless can also be a sign of a larger mental health problem. If your feelings of helplessness are causing distress, making it difficult to function, or are accompanied by other symptoms, it’s probably time to talk to your doctor.
If you or a loved one are struggling with feelings of helplessness or depression, you can also contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administrations (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
Featured image by Zinkevych, via Getty by Canva.com
